Nobody said it was easy.

Being a momma, that is.

As I mentioned yesterday, we're going through a "phase." I think that's putting it a little lightly. I said to T last night, "I've got to break this, before it breaks me."

Wow. Tough stuff.

I'm a stay-at-home mommy to an otherwise golden child. Since the day he was born, he has been absolutely amazing. a-mah-zing, as in I really hit the jackpot with this little booger. He's tiny, beautiful, mild-mannered, gentle, quiet, thoughtful, studies everything, cautious, a good sleeper, a good eater, entertains himself ... I mean the list just goes on an on. Not to mention this little guy has some blue eyes that could melt the sunshine. I mean, just look at him! He's just the joy of my days.

But I feel like the Lord (& Baby S) are testing me right now. He's at an age where he wants constant interaction. That's well and good, but it's just not feasible. I play with him plenty. He just wants to be with me. Playing with the puppy won't do, playing with Daddy won't do (unless he's in the right mood), and playing by himself certainly won't do. Just Momma. It's sweet, but enough to make you go crazy at times!!

Have you ever tried to cook dinner while a baby that can't stand up alone balances in between your legs? If your a mom, I know the answer, but still - it's hard! If I so much as act like I'm going to walk out of the room, BOOM - he's a step ahead of me with the water works and wailing.

Not only that, but he definitely does NOT like the word "No." He knows what it means, and he does notttt like it. So now I get tears every time I tell him to stop ... I don't know ... trying to stick flowers up his nose. I mean the child acts like I've just told him the world is ending tomorrow.

And you know what? Even though I can hear him crying practically in my sleep, every drop that falls from those big blue eyes absolutely breaks my heart. I'll tell him no, and his little lip starts quivering and those eyes seem to turn ten shades bluer and his little cheeks turn red ... oh my! I could just break down now! It's so sad, and it takes every bit of strength in me to not give in.

But I'm not exaggerating here when I tell you that for the last week, this child is crying about something or the other 24/7 unless he's sleeping. Seriously. Every five minutes, he's whining about something.

Basically, I need prayers. I know there are so many terrible injustices of this world, but in my little corner, we're just managing to tread water. I need the strength to stand firm so that I can teach this precious little boy respect and authority, while balancing love, nurturing, and self-worth.

Don't get me wrong, though. He is a blessing. Every night I look at him sleeping peacefully in his crib, and joy and pride overflow in my heart. He's perfect in every way (to me), and I wouldn't trade one temper tantrum for all the tea in China. He's my sweet little boy, and there's nothing he could ever do to make me love him one ounce less. There is nothing sweeter than sharing bananas and graham crackers with him or exploring the world outside or just cuddling with him (when he'll let me). Those moments are what life is about. Those are the moments that make everything peaceful and well in the world. It doesn't matter if they are many or few.

The Lord is teaching me patience. Everything in life up until this point has been so much instant gratification. You want something to change, then you change it! When you have a baby that needs to change some things, it is definitely not instant. It takes time and consistency. And strength. And a good, solid Rock to stand on (... or lean on ... on rest on).

I'm keeping the faith!

-M

ps. My green beans, squash, cucumber, and sweet basil all sprouted!! Woohoo!

The Forgotten Garden

Yesterday afternoon, Baby S and I took a little walk over to our old house to check on our "Forgotten Garden."

Last year, T and I planted a small handful of strawberry plants (Junebearing) and planted a few collard seeds. Not knowing much about gardening, we were absolutely stunned that our collards never thrived, and we didn't get any strawberries! What a shame!

After all of our pepper plants died, we pretty much forgot about out little garden. Here's what we discovered yesterday.

Do you know what those are? That's my forest of collard greens! They've flowered. They're actually pretty neat flowers. We cut them and put some in a vase on the breakfast table. They match perfect :)

We also found a HUGE patch of strawberries with more flowers than I could count. I will probably faint when I see my first strawberry. I remember as a little girl, my Grandma had a "Secret Garden" for me, which was a strawberry patch and some pretty flowers. I want to say they were daisies, but I can't recall exactly. I have my own little strawberry patch. I'm over the moon. Baby S LOVES him some strawberries, too. Hopefully I'll at least get a few decent-sized ones.

Last but definitely not least, I'm excited to say that ... I've had my first veggies sprout!!! My arugula were directly sown in one of my containers outside. Still waiting on my Baby Spinach, but just look at these little darlings!

Bad photo, I know. Maybe someday we'll invest in a nice digital camera. But until then, you get the picture.

On the baby front, Baby S has really hit a funk. I'm calling it the 11-month slump. He's fussy, cranky, clingy, won't eat and won't sleep. We're working our way through it, though. He needs Momma a lot, but I have to keep it in check. There's nothing worse than a spoiled baby, and I know that from experience!

He's got 5 teeth right now, and the last one in the set is coming through. I wondered if that had anything to do with it, but I don't think so. He hasn't been a hard teether.

Oh well. This too shall pass.

I'll leave you with a video of him on one of his better days.

Baby S loves the camera. T? Not so much.

-M

First Things First

Hello.

I love blogs. They're so fun and inspiring.

That being said, let's get down to business. Can I get some sunshine? It's been raining for a week and a half where I live. It's absolutely saddening ... and maddening. Baby S has gone absolutely crazy these past few days, and I'm pretty sure it's because he can't get out and garden with Momma.

Speaking of gardening, prepare yourself. I'm going to be documenting my success (thinking positively) of growing an enormous container garden in the coming months. The kicker? I'm doing pretty much everything from seed because I'm impatient and want spring/summer to be here like ... now. So I figured I'd get my gardening fix by starting early with seeds. Any gardener will tell you, it's not so easy. There's pretty much a 100% failure rate for novice gardeners like myself. Oh well. I've got my little indoor greenhouses already planted, and I'm just waiting for sprouts to appear!

Want to know what I'm growing? You do? Perfect, because I'm going to tell you anyway. (Can you tell I'm excited?)

Tomatoes - Early Girl, Jet-Star Hybrid
Cucumber - Poinsett 76 (perfect for slicing AND pickling)
Squash - Good Old Dixie Squash (crooked neck)
Peppers - So far, I've got Habanero and Serrano Chile
Watermelon - Sugar Baby
Eggplant - Black Beauty
Arugula - Rocket
Baby Spinach - Can't remember the type. Oops.



In addition to my incredibly overambitious list of veggies, I have quite a herb garden going!

Lemon Basil, Sweet Basil, Mint, Cilantro (that looks like poopoo), and Lemon Thyme. Still wanting to add some Stevia, Rosemary, Dill, and Pineapple Sage.

And finally, I think this year I'm not as excited about flowers. Last year, for my very first Mother's Day, T built me the most beautiful flower beds. It was a whirlwind summer, and from what we can recall, most of our "shade plants" were lame. We did have an incredibly beautiful and exciting Banana Tree that lasted forever, but watching it die was really sad. T doesn't want to get attached again. ;)


I did get some Sunflower seeds. I bought the Massive/Mammoth breed and some dwarf ones. I thought it would be really fun for Baby S to watch grow.


I also got some mixed color African Daisy seeds because I think they're cute.

I'm sure I'll get some petunias this year, too. I loved how hardy they were last year, although we didn't give them quite enough sun.

I just can't wait to make this new house my HOME. And as much love is in this home, and although all of our cups are full, having a beautiful oasis outside is so much needed for T and I to escape to with Baby S.