What a relaxing weekend. I sat my little behind on a beautiful back porch in the mountains for the past 4 days. Lots of family, food, and mountain air. It was beautiful. Saul got to spend time with family he knows well, and some he met for the first time!
Saul is sick. I don't know what it is or where he got it from. It's making my heart break for him in a way you can only know from being a mother. That isn't to sound elitist or holier-than-thou because I have a child. It's something that cannot properly be put into words.
In his 13 months of life, he's been sick about 4 times. We're doing alright, as I was told that the average baby have 8 to 10 colds during their first two years of life.
He was sick with a cold virus just two weeks ago. I don't know if this is just the same virus coming back to get him again or what.
Since Saturday, he's been running an incredibly high fever. That's it. No other symptoms. Sunday night I even took him to the emergency room because the fever just would not come down. They did blood work and a urine analysis to rule out scary stuff. Took him to the doctor yesterday to follow up. It's just a little virus, but it's got him in a big way.
He's finally eating and drinking and being a little more active, but it's been so hard to watch him suffer. I've asked God a million times to take it away from him. Give it to me. Please. That's enough, Lord. But deep down, I know that he needs these illnesses. He needs them to make his little body strong so he can fight off bigger, scarier germs later on.
But nothing -- nothing -- makes it easier to watch your child be so pitiful and listless. I'm sure this is way worse for me to watch than it is for him to live through. I have to get a grip on it. I know he's looking to me for strength, even at his tender age. I just hate it. I cry with him. I pray for him. I hold him. That's really all I can do. I let him sleep. I cuddle him when he wants to. I let him eat all his favorite goodies. I'm doing what I can.
We're on day 4 of this nasty fever, and it feels like there's no end in sight. I know it will all be over soon, but I can't wait to have my sweet little boy crawling around, walking, and getting into everything. I know that will mean days of pulling my hair out again and wishing he would let me hold him like an infant again instead of squirming away, but that's okay. I'll deal with it.
I just love him so much. Prayers for both of us would do wonders.
I love spring. I love summer even more. I always have. Like millions of people out there, I get kinda of down in the dumps after a long winter. And, every winter is too long.
Warm sunshine and warm nights are what I'm made for. Like all the flowers that peek their heads up from the cold ground once temperatures rise and the days get a little longer, something in me wakes up, too.
I get a little happier. I get a little more romantic. I have a little more energy. I'm a little more creative.
I know God knew just what he was doing when created seasons - both weather season and seasons of life.
There is always another season to come. Whether you're in the depths of Winter or heartache, Spring is always just around the corner.
When the seasons change, I am aware of how blessed I am and the vast beauty of this earth.
If you've spent any length of time around my little boy, you understand this child's infatuation with soft things on his face.
I know it sounds strange. Since we brought this little booger home from the hospital, he has been crazy about fabrics.
As a new-newborn, he would baby-reflex blankets up to his face. I hated it; it scared me to death.
He never outgrew it. I can't put him down to sleep without a blanket pressed against his cheek. It's actually pretty cute.
What's better is that as he's grown, so has his love for all things soft. He doesn't discriminate. It doesn't have to be any particular blanket. Heck, it doesn't even have to be a blanket. It can be a pile of laundry (again, he's not choosey. they don't even have to be clean clothes), a stack of scrap fabric, dish cloths, the baggy part of a sweatshirt or jacket I'm wearing. This child lets out a squeal of glee and dives face first into to fabricated goodness.
Then, with fistfulls of softness, he looks up at me with his nose scrunched up, smiling and laughing, and softly lays his head on whatever it is he's loving on.
It's precious. It's one of my favorite little quirks about him.
Also, I've noticed that I slipped up and said Baby S' name on video... and typed out T's name. I may step out from behind the curtain here pretty soon. Baby S' name is just too cute to keep a secret!
So it appears that the vanishing blog post has reappeared. That's good.
Now, since I'm not going to spend the next hour re-posting, I'm about a day late on something I want to join in the blog-o-sphere.
Enter: Five Minute Friday (except this time, it's on a Saturday.)
Five Minute Friday is easy. Over at The Gypsy Mama, she provides her readers with a simple prompt to write about each week on Friday for five minutes. Easy enough, right? It's just a bit of focused writing.
Yesterday's prompt was Deep Breath. Here goes nothing:
This is a pretty fitting topic for my current state of mind. Things around here are in need of many deep breaths of fresh air. Life, all too often, becomes stagnant and stale. Repetitive. I don't think that God had a life of going through the motions in His plan for us. As hard as it is sometimes, with all the millions of things I try to do daily to be supermom/super-almost-wife, deep breaths are usually something only taken in exasperation, and I hate that.
A good, deep breath is good for you in so many ways - both literally and figuratively. It fills you up and renews your body and spirit.
Just last night, I came to grips with a lot of mom-guilt and insecurities. I cannot please every one all the time. Why I even want to/think I can/try? I don't know. I'm still figuring that out. My main priorities should go as such: 1. God 2. My Man 3. My Son. That's it. And even if I fail them some of the time, that's okay, too. Coming to terms with the fact that sometimes you fail - and you fail miserably - is freedom. However, it is still hard, and it sucks, and you don't want to face it. It makes you feel bad about yourself.
Stopping to take a deep breath is a great chance to see God's grace and love. When you take the time to be still and breath, He will fill your lungs with a sweet, new song. He comforts you and let's you know that it's okay. That you are enough. That you are well. That you are precious. He lets you know that never are your efforts in vain if your heart's desire is to glorify Him.
Writing this has been a Deep Breath for my soul. The Lord has already lifted my spirit.
So yesterday, I had a beautiful, picture-filled post all done up for you guys. I thought I posted it. Blogger has gone all weird on me, so I guess that means I have to spend another 30 minutes doing it all over again.
Well, after lots of complaining, the warm weather is here to stay! Hard work is beginning to pay off! My garden is doing wonderfully!
I know there will be lots of pictures in this post that no one cares about. It's more for T and I to have to refer back to mid and late summer.
So back to the photograph. Take a look at what's been going on for the last month ...
Yeah, buddy!
I know - not as cute because there's no baby pictured. Unless you want to see ropes of baby snot (graphic, right?), little man is in no condition to be photographed. He's feeling MUCH better, but the little cold is making it's not-so-fabulous exit through his nose. He's still cute to me though!!
Don't worry. There's a video of him at the end to satisfy us all.
In the meantime, here's a look around our jimmy-rigged container garden.
My Sunflowers -- from seed!
Petunias & Pansy ... in a toolbox. We're crafty.
Our 70's County Ranch Petunia Set-Up. (Also pictured, the crap snap dragon and basil)
Dianthus. Pretty, but not as exciting as I would have liked. Easy. (Also pictured - My Mint, which is absolutely going psycho.)
On to the Veggies!
This only shows about 2/3 of the garden, but a majority of the fruiting plants.
This right here is my baby. Would you believe that I started this from SEED?? It's a legit plant now. I couldn't be more proud of it.
My green & purple green beans. They are so pretty! It's got a TON of beans on it!
Ugly picture - I know. This is my cucumber. They sprouted overnight. Literally.
Sugar Snap Peas. 4 1/2 feet tall already! From seed.
Sweet Basil & Lemon Basil.
The token Gardenia bud beauty shot.
My little begonias. These started coming up like ... 4 months ago practically. Finally blooming. I still might give up on them. They just aren't the prettiest.
And last but not least, I present you with a video of the little man making the most wonderful noise EVER!
My little darling is ill. Not terribly ill, but last night around 7 pm, it hit him like a freight train.
Now I have all the snot, drool, sneezes and coughs I could ask for! Yummy.
I will say, though, that he hasn't been since since Christmas, which is a feat in itself. I guess it was our turn again.
So I'll be spending my day with an increasingly cranky little boy who wants nothing more than to snuggle up on my chest and breathe hot sick breath directly into my mouth.
Who am I kidding? I love him being snuggly.
However, since he's not wanting to eat ... or sleep ... or do anything by himself, today is tricky. Praying for a quick recovery!
My Sunflowers -- from seed!
Petunias & Pansy ... in a toolbox. We're crafty.
Our 70's County Ranch Petunia Set-Up. (Also pictured, the 
